That least charismatic of all cult leaders Al Gore is secretly assembling a crack team of slightly more charismatic political consultants in an attempt to repeat their stunningly expensive and embarrassing loss in the 2000 race for President of the United Status. This time they hope to advance that record significantly, mostly by spending more money while still achieving the same result.

Captain’s Quarters has a write-up, following an article in the Telegraph. This same paper, it should be noted, is leading today with an article on the resignation of the lead coroner in the inquest into the autopsy of Princess Diana. This paper is just all about the upbeat.

Under the Climate Caliphate we can expect knee-jerk policies to anything a computer tells us will cause harm to penguins, polar bears, or poor brown people in loincloths on islands that only the rich can afford to visit. Instead of using its military and economy to decisively alter the course of rogue governments, we can expect the US to drive itself bankrupt through policies that decisively alter the course of our own booming economy and job market. That’s the way we once again “join our traditional allies” in Europe and move into the much-ballyhooed “modern age” of transnational global citizenship.

Many in the anti-Hillary camp are looking at Gore with the same hopeful (but unrealistic) gazes which were previously only bestowed upon him by those in the anti-capitalism camp. They’re hoping he’ll step up to do two things:

1) Squash all second-runners like Edwards and Obama.
2) Provide an electable alternative to Clinton who doesn’t have the intense negative baggage that she carries with her.

It’s ironic that Mr. Gore will likely be getting the bigoted vote in the Democratic party who are afraid of electing a woman, a black man, a former Muslim, or a crazy ambulance-chasing lawyer. Given their penchant for categorizing people by insignificant details of their history or genetics, I would imagine there are quite a few soft bigots in the party who will be ecstatic to see an old rich white guy for whom they can comfortably write a check, and tick a box.

Hollywood will likely throw in all of its remaining money into Gore’s pockets as a charitable donation to the Church of Socialism and Climate Change (also known as the “Church of the Restriction of Human Freedom and Liberty” ). This will create an amusing situation where the Democratic party actually has to decide between several bleeding-heart causes during its primary elections.

Part of me is happy that Gore is waiting until later to throw into the race. I’d love to see a return to the sanity of a shorter election cycle. If you stop feeding the political consultants, they might be forced into having a real job in the odd-numbered years.

McCain was trying the same “I’ll wait to announce” tactic, but at the rate he’s going he’ll be announcing his concession and support of Bill Richardson before he actually announces his campaign! The trick, John, is that you need some reason to be in the news despite having no campaign. Gore has his effort to personally contribute to Catastrophic Climate Change, Obama has his smiley-faced cast-of-“The West Wing” charisma, Fred (“Tough on TV Crime”) Thompson has his acting career, Ms. Clinton had her wife’s Presidency. All of these people had a sustained media push before their announcement.

On the conservative Republican front, Newt Gingrich is building steam towards a big set of policy initiatives at the end of September. I’m sure that it’s merely a coincidence that this would give him a massive publicity shot among the conservative political class just as primary season really hits big time. Will this mean he’s looking at a run for 1600? Naturally with his big initiatives he’ll be much too busy giving speeches and debating with the policies of the candidates to worry about such campaign features as… giving speeches and debating the other candidates… hmmm

It looks like there may be more people playing the late game than just Big Al.

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