A Liberals’s Declaration of Faith

When I wrote my last post, I challenged the other Angry Men to write a version of the creed for liberals. AOC responded with this work of excellence. Enjoy – ANM

Do you accept Obama? I do.

And all his progressive works? I do.

And his promise of true hope and change? I do.

Do you believe in Liberalism, the One True Philosophy on this godless earth? I do.

Do you believe in Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the New Dealer, who was born of Theodore Roosevelt, was crucified by reactionaries, defeated Nazism, grew the Federal Government, and is now enthroned in the Progressive pantheon? I do.

Do you believe in JFK, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, the holy Great Society, the utter destruction of right-wingers, the non-existance of personal sins, the regulation of industry, and life under government management? I do.*

* See, it’s even positively Progressive! Hey, I even know Progressives who would agree to this without reservation! (No, seriously.)

 

A Conservative’s Declaration of Faith

As a service to fellow Angry Man and sworn Obama-hater Angry Midwesterner, I have written this litany for him to renew his faith in conservatism and his hatred of Obama each morning. In case you’re a hater too, feel free to use it – ANM

Do you reject Obama? I do.

And all his socialist works? I do.

And all his empty hope and change? I do.

Do you believe in Conservatism, the One True Philosophy on heaven and earth? I do.

Do you believe in Ronald Regan, the Great Communicator, who was born of Barry Goldwater, was crucified by liberals, defeated Communism, shrunk the Federal Government, and is now enthroned in the Conservative pantheon? I do.

Do you believe in Sarah Palin*, the holy Religious Right, the hatred of liberals, the punishment of sins, the reduction of taxes, and life without union labor? I do.

* The invocation of Sarah Palin can be replaced with Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck or Ron Paul as appropriate.

 

The Angry Men on Health Care Reform

Hola muchachos! It’s your hombre-in-chief Angry New Mexican again, serving as your editor du jour since my angry hermanos are still hangin’ out in the backyard… smoking the peyote or something. Anyway, I saw a really interesting article by David Goldhill on health care reform. After a few emails where we trolled each other repeatedly, Angry Overeducated Catholic had the most cogent response. Without further ado, here it is…

Angry Overeducated Catholic

I realize it’s been a few days, but having gone back and read the Atlantic article Angry New Mexican started this with again, in depth, I just wanted to commend it to everyone. It’s a really great article, and it puts to rest some red herrings in this debate:

1. Uncontrolled costs are not due to rapacious insurance companies, evil drug companies, corrupt doctors, greedy lawyers, wasteful patients, or any other bad actor…or rather they are due to all of them because it’s the perverse incentives in the system itself that are to blame.
2. No government plan—not single-payer, not a public option, not an NHS—that continues to make comprehensive health insurance the primary payment method will succeed. Indeed things like a single-payer plan or NHS will likely make things worse because they’ll push costs even further from the consumer.

As ANM said, the author believes that only the scrapping of comprehensive health insurance for most folks will address our core problem…and raise other problems that other things must address. I basically agree.

I also agree with Angry Military Man that requiring Americans to purchase comprehensive insurance is unconstitutional. But I agree with ANM that everyone having comprehensive insurance is a good thing. In fact, given our compassionate decision to make treatment mandatory for crises, I consider it a basic infrastructure of our society.

So here’s my pitch:

1. Every American, every man, woman, and child, gets a basic comprehensive insurance package from Uncle Sam: $1 million lifetime coverage, with a $100,000 lifetime deductible, and a yearly deductible set to 10% of your income from the last year.

   No premiums. No yearly paperwork (on your part). No IRS employees going over your precious medical records, instead the IRS simply sends HHS your income summary each year. You will have to document that you’ve spent the deductible, but that shouldn’t be hard for catastrophic cases.

   That’s $300+ trillion dollars potentially, but spread out over a whole population, and it’s not like private catastrophic insurance doesn’t also have to find the money to pay out… Now, 2,500,000 folks kick off each year, so as an upper bound, we’re looking at around $2.5 trillion a year, and I’m guessing it’s quite a bit less, thanks to violence, drugs, car accidents, etc. (Incidentally, the actual average for end-of-life care for the more expensive older patients (over 65) appeared to be about $51,500 (current dollars) in 1996…let’s assume that’s actually risen 10% year over year, so it’s basically doubled twice by now to around $200,000…assuming that all lifetime deductibles are met before the end of life period, and that the period lasts 2 years on average, that’s $400,000 per person, meaning our payout is much less than estimated above.)

   Now, where does private insurance come in? Well, make it taxable, and let the market sort itself out. Want a lifetime deductible under $100,000? Need more than $1 million in lifetime coverage? Want smaller yearly deductibles? Want an HMO? Want comprehensive care? Whatever you want, fine, but no mandates, no subsidies, and no government interference (other than standard anti-fraud, etc.).

   Want to bar existing conditions? Fine! Want to pay for 8 abortions/year per teenage girl? OK! Whatever, we don’t care because it’s no longer our business…

2. Abolish Medicare. Halve Medicare deductions on pay and put the half remaining towards administering the catastrophic payouts. That’ll give us $100 billion or so per year, enough for full payouts for 100,000 citizens.
3. Make HSAs, unlike insurance, fully tax deductible…so, really insurance is deductible, because—surprise—you’ll pay for it out of the HSA! But it’s no more deductible than any other medical expense. Hooray!
4. The article’s remaining ideas are pretty good:
   

   “For lower-income Americans who can’t fund all of their catastrophic premiums or minimum HSA contributions, the government should fill the gap—in some cases, providing all the funding. You don’t think we spend an absurd amount of money on health care? If we abolished Medicaid, we could spend the same money to make a roughly $3,000 HSA contribution and a $2,000 catastrophic-premium payment for 60 million Americans every year. That’s a $12,000 annual HSA plus catastrophic coverage for a low-income family of four. Do we really believe most of them wouldn’t be better off?
   Some experts worry that requiring people to pay directly for routine care would cause some to put off regular checkups. So here’s a solution: the government could provide vouchers to all Americans for a free checkup every two years. If everyone participated, the annual cost would be about $30 billion—a small fraction of the government’s current spending on care.”

   These are the fringe cases that account for so much of the emotional impact of the bogus “47 million uninsured” number. So, yes, just pony up and pay.

   I’d be tempted to make that “one check-up every two years” instead “one check-up per year for kids up to 18 and adults over 35”, since most young adults are least vulnerable to the ill effects of missing doctor’s visits.

   Illegal immigrants? They get treated as they do now, in the shadows…but only for crisis care. However, certainly low cost plans and insurance will arise to meet that market, or out of pocket costs will cover all but the worst illnesses. And, those who become legal and start filing taxes get roped in.

   So the only question left: how far from revenue neutral is this approach?

    

Obama’s first good decision: Cutting off California

The White House today rebuffed pleas from California for cash. California, as anyone not living under a rock knows by now, carries an estimated $24 billion deficit and is in dire economic peril. Now they expect the rest of us to bear the penalty of their excess for them, and pay for the irresponsible behavior for which they reaped all of the rewards. Something must have hit Obama in the head this morning because for once he made the right choice.

He told those lazy, good for nothing, deadbeat, pot smoking, California Hippie Losers to bug off. Three cheers for Obama!

California has the largest GDP in the US, at over $1.8 trillion, one of the highest levels of taxation in the country, an annual tax revenue of over $114 billion, and one of the highest levels of tax revenue per capita. They have all the resources necessary to solve their own problems. The reason they cannot pay their bill is that, much like a bunch of trailer trash Wal-mart shoppers, they’ve lived beyond their means and run up a debt funding ridiculous programs, propositions, and other such folly to a point that no one in the damnable state even knows where or how the money is being spent. A full 50% of their yearly tax revenue is earmarked for propositions even before the budget is set, that’s more revenue than the total taxes brought in by 48 of the 50 states. And yet visit California and you’ll find a third world nightmare of poorly paved roads, one of the worst school systems in the nation (ranked 48th of 50), no public transportation worthy of the name, scant police coverage, and a wash of crime and poverty that stretches 800 miles from north to south.

California isn’t too big to fail. It’s too irresponsible, stupid, and mismanaged to succeed. Its practices, culture, and above all the arrogance of its people make it one of the largest threats to the American way of life in the world. So now California, we’re cutting you off and it’s time for you to reap what you have sown. Obama should strip your state of its sovereignty and readmit it as a federal territory.

-Angry Midwesterner

 

Breaking News: Cheney Defeated, Flees Planet In Shame

WASHINGTON (AFP) – Things in Washington seem to be quiet at last after the last day’s worth of events. Shortly after the statement of John Smith from London, a 1950’s era police box appeared on the White House Lawn with an army of Cheney clones ready to open fire. At that moment a crack force known only as the Wolverenes lead by actor-cum-badass Chuck Norris dropped via parachute onto the lawn to engage the clone army. Obama sycophant David Axelrod was at the scene preparing babies for Cheney’s consumption. He says:

“We were all forced to do horrible, unspeakable things at the hands of President Cheney, lest we be shot in the face by the clone army. Suddenly the clone army assembled as a 1950’s era British police box appeared out of nowhere on the lawn. Immediately thereafter, Chuck Norris’ crack team showed up and engaged the army in a wicked fight. That man’s chief export is pain, but I doubt that he knew what a machine Dick Cheney really was. Anyway, in the midst of the fighting, this John Smith fellow and some woman I couldn’t make out slipped out of the police box and headed for the Oval Office. Since I had recently finished soiling myself, I followed on hands and knees to see what was happening.”

Accounts from this point differ, but it appears that Mr. Smith confronted a well prepared President Cheney in his office fortress. After capturing Mr. Smith in a sonic net, President Cheney took the opportunity to gloat:

“Leave it to a foreigner to send an alien to fight me! To slothful to fight their own battles in Iraq or Afghanistan, even now as I cement my reign on this planet, they cannot be bothered to fight for themselves. I look forward to consuming their bloated, decadent flesh, as I will consume yours, Doctor, for I know who you are.”

According to Mr. Axelrod, Mr. Smith then responded,

“I think not Dick, or can I call you Richard, you know I’ve always preferred the name ever since I met Richard the First, great chap. Anyway, where was I? Oh right, stopping you from taking over the earth.”

Mr. Cheney replied:

“And you will do this how?”

Mr. Smith responded:

“First, your sonic net is no match for my sonic screwdriver, and second, I was just trying to distract you while she hit you over the head.”

At that point, Senator Hillary Clinton hit Mr. Cheney over the head with what appeared to be a copy of Ann Coulter’s latest book, Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America. By the time Mr. Cheney recovered consciousness, his clone army had suffered a viscous beating at the hands of Chuck Norris, a man who does not get frostbite; rather he bites frost. Mr. Cheney immediately triggered his teleportation device and oddly forgoing the usual “I’ll be back” speech, returned to his waiting spacecraft and left earth. By this time the mysterious Mr. Smith and his more mysterious police box has vanished.

A spokeswoman for Senator Clinton said she’d be spending some time away from Washington, looking at the stars. Besides, the Senator noted, there may be some world that really would want her to be president.

 

Breaking News: Man Says It’s Cheney’s Last Chance To Surrender

LONDON (AFP) – A man close to Prime Minister Gordon Brown, going only by the name “John Smith” has announced to the world that this is President Cheney’s last chance before his utter annihilation. Mr. Smith remarked as follows:

“I address the Aphrilotexans, and their leader Che’ney, according to convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation. If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilization by means of warped, shunt technology. So, may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off? I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet. I can find you a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this now. Fail to do that and you will only be bringing your end upon yourselves.”

President Cheney’s spokescheney at the White House had only one comment: “Go f@#$ yourself, Doctor,” and placed US forces on DEFCON 1.

 

Breaking News: Cheney Admits Alien Origin, Promises New Prosperity, Technology, Food Source

The President at His Press Conference.

CHENEYVILLE (AFP) – In a shocking admission, a smirking President Cheney openly confirmed British Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s recent allegation that the President, and his clone army, are of extraterrestrial origin:

“Alien? Yes, of course. Wait, you really didn’t know? Nobody. I mean, you didn’t suspect? Even after the Bush years? Heh, your species is even dumber than I thought. Yes, I am an alien, from a far more advanced and far more intelligent species. But I take issue with the whole “not friendly” claim.

What does Mr. Brown use to back up his “not friendly” claim: my love of shooting people in the face? My different, and substantially more advanced, biology? That is typical European elitism. My fellow Americans, are we not a nation of immigrants? Don’t we welcome anyone to our great country who believes in the ideals of America? And what, I ask you, could be more American than blasting annoying idiots in the face with a shotgun!”

The President’s remarks were greated by shouts of support and applause, and not simply from the terrified former White House Press Corps which the President has now directed to act as his own personal studio audience. Smirking widely at the crowd, the President continued:

“Yes, I am an alien, and an American, and I can promise America will share in our powerful alien technology! Saucers, death beams, indestructible war machines that look like pepper shakers…we’ve got them all, and soon, so will you! And that will bring a new era of prosperity to you, America. No longer will you have to ‘trade’ for foreign goods. No longer will you be slaves to foreign debt. No, my fellow Americans, we will just take what we want, and death to any foreigner who tries to stop us!!!

The President was forced to pause at this point due to a spontaneous chorus of “USA, USA” from the assembled crowd. When he was able to continue he made one final promise:

“And, finally, we will not only end poverty through plunder, but, my friends, hunger itself. With the world’s infants available for our consumption, no American will ever want for food. Just think, all the sweet succulent baby flesh that any Texan…or human…could want…eh, am I hungry, well, gotta go, there’s a whole British embassy’s worth of tasty little ones waiting in the White House dining room!”

This correspondent asked numerous attendees to comment upon the President’s final remarks, but there was no consensus on what these words might mean or just how the world’s supply of young children might be made available for American use. White House spokescheneys said that a detailed plan would be provided “after lunch.”

 

Breaking News: Cheney is an Alien, Says Brown!

Gordon Brown Addresses the World

LONDON (AFP) – Responding to recent statements by the self-proclaimed “The One True President” of the United States, Dick Cheney, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown held a press conference at Westminster. Here are his remarks in full:

“Members of Parliament and Citizens of the World. A few hours ago, Dick Cheney’s clone army seized control of the White House and the American Presidency. President Obama was injured during the attack, but escaped due to the assistance of a friend and ally of the British Crown. He is currently in London recuperating, wishing that I had a Region 1 DVD player to play those DVDs he gave me the other month. Sadly, nobody in Mr. Obama’s office seemed to realize that the UK is in Region 2 and now I’m stuck with useless DVDs. Well, Mr. Obama can meditate on that for a while he’s watching Are You Being Served reruns.

As for Mr. Cheney and his army, they are from an alien species known only as Aphrilotexans and they are not friendly to the human race. Don’t ask me how I know this, but I am quite certain this is true. They are armed and very dangerous and have a penchant for excessive shotgun usage and public executions. And they drink the blood of the living, just to be clear.

To the American people, I have but one message: We stand together. Lucky for us that’s several thousand miles away.

God save the Queen. God save us all.”

 

Breaking News: Dick Cheney Proclaims Himself President!

Dick Cheney Proclaims Himself President

CHENEYVILLE (AFP) – Following rumors that President Barack Obama has fled to London, Dick Cheney, whose clone army recently seized the White House, has proclaimed himself The One True President of the United States, issued warrants for the arrest of Mr. Obama and renamed Washington, DC to Cheneyville. His clone army has also appeared in New York and has executed chiefs of several notable TARP-recipient investment banks to the cheers of the crowds forming in the streets. “Cheney is back, bitches! To America’s enemies, I have only one message: Go f#$% yourselves,” said the real (?) Mr. Cheney from his fortress in the Oval Office.

Public opinion on the Cheney coup is mixed. Joe Simmons, 27 of Arlington, VA was quoted as saying, “I was getting tired of Obama and Geithner dancing around this AIG bonus thing. Only Dick Cheney has the cajones to shoot those jerks in the face… which his clone army just did.” New York Times columnist Tom Friedman was about to express his disapproval of the Cheney coup in a phone interview with your correspondent, when he too was shot in the face by the clone army.

 

Breaking News: President Obama Safe In London!

President Obama, Gordon Brown with an Unidentified Man in London

LONDON (AFP) – John Smith, a spokesman for British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, reports that President Barack Obama has arrived safely in London, mere minutes after the attack on the Oval Office by what appears to have been an army of clones of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Mr. Smith handed over copies of the above photograph as proof that President Obama is safe in London. According to Mr. Smith, President Obama will be in closed meetings with Prime Minister Brown and members of the Torchwood Institute until the evening when he will address the nation. When asked as to how Mr. Obama managed to escape to London from the Oval Office, Mr. Smith cryptically responded that it was “Wibbly-wobbly, Timey-wimey stuff.”