United States Marine Corps is 232 years old today.


On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date, many thousand men have borne the name Marine. In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the Birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world’s history. During 90 of the 146 years of it’s existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the nations foes. From the battle of Trenton to the Argonne. Marines have won foremost honors in war, and in the long eras of tranquility at home. Generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term Marine has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who preceded us in the Corps. With it we also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as “Soldiers of the Sea” since the founding of the Corps.

From the 12 Angry Men Blog to all the Marines out there, ‘Happy Birthday’ and Semper Fidelis!

Regular readers will be familiar with our “Troll of the Week” category which we often award to worthy individuals. This week, its time for something completely different. We’ve found an individual which we wish to name Hero of the Week. This is not a title we will give out often, and will only be awarded to truly worthy individuals, who had the courage to stand up and fight one form of injustice or another, and who have championed the greater good.

Our current Hero of the Week is a would be Jedi Knight from North Carolina named Christopher Knight. The young Jedi made an ad for his campaign for the Rockingham County, North Carolina board of education. In his entertaining campaign video, which aired on local television stations, Christopher unveils his secondary career as a Jedi, and his commitment to protecting the local youth from evil while he quests for elected office. The ad is quite well done, creative, and an excellent bit of amateur movie making. His video was so popular, that Knight decided to post his video on YouTube to share with the internet community as a whole.

Viacom owned TV channel VH1 grabbed Knight’s video without permission and aired it during their series “Web Junk 2.0”, technically violating copyright law as they did not even ask for Knight’s permission to air his copyright work. Knight however, as a true student of the Light Side of the Force, didn’t mind. He accepted their action with good humor and enthusiasm saying:

I’m delighted that as a proud son of Rockingham County, I got worldwide exposure for this… How often does a local school board ad wind up on VH1?”

His response showed wisdom, patience, mercy, and benevolence, all traits true Jedi should possess. In fact, he so enjoyed their review of his video that he placed a copy of it with their commentary on YouTube so others could enjoy his work in this fashion. Viacom responded quickly by sending Imperial Stormtroopers with cease and desist letters to YouTube and our Jedi Hero, telling them that they were in violation of copyright law and if they did not comply immediately, they would “face the full firepower of this fully operational company”. Chris replied:

Viacom says that I can’t use their clip showing my commercial, claiming copy infringement? As we say in the South, that’s ass-backwards.”

Ever the brave hero, Christopher Knight risked life and lawsuit by filing a counter complaint against Viacom, noting that they had violated his copyright first. In an amazing win for the forces of good, Viacom surrendered to the Jedi Rebellion and YouTube restored his clip. His actions have not only saved his video, but all of the galaxy… I mean internet. Thanks to his bravery users everywhere know that they too can file counter DMCA claims should their rights be threatened.

For his heroism, valor, and courage, Christopher Knight is awarded Hero of the Week and will receive an honorary beer at the Man Lunch. Even though we know a Jedi craves not these things, we hope the Jedi Knight will accept our praise and know that today he is a hero to all of the Rebel Alliance. Mr. Knight, may the force be you, always.

Edit: Our Hero’s blog. Also, welcome to Fark.com, feel free to look around.

Hola amigos! Angry New Mexican here to talk a bit about the Land of Enchantment, and our neighbors. You see, New Mexico, the land of chile (red or green) and piñon, is a unique place. Granted, we have our problems, like crappy schools, the proliferation of pueblo casinos, and the influx of hippies in Taos and Santa Fe who drive up prices for the honest Joses like me, but overall New Mexico is a great place… except for the neighbors. Que? Let me explain.

First we have Arizona, which is like the dirty old man next door who spends his time staring sketchily out the window and muttering to himself. Like any good little kids, we just avoid him. Arizona is populated almost exclusively by retired Anglos who somehow thought that Phoenix would be paradise. And they’ve diverted enough water from the Colorado River to make their very own garden of Eden in the desert. What about Nuevo Mexico, you might say? Isn’t it a desert too? Si, compadres, but the high desert of New Mexico can actually grow things, like green chile (the non-Anglos in the audience are nodding their heads in agreement, I can tell), while plants would naturally waste away in the fiery hell-hole which is Phoenix. Besides having poor taste in places to settle, the geriatric Arizonans have a tendency to elect politicians who compulsively avoid Latinos who aren’t busy landscaping their freakishly lush yards. Barring the honorable Senior McCain, who (oddly among Arizona politicians) sees Latinos as human beings, many politicians in Arizona are fighting Don Quixote-esque battles against the illegal immigrant boogyman (he’ll deal drugs to your children and seduce your wife; the horror!). Folks like Russell Pearce and JD Hayworth seem to think that nothing screams “America” like oppressing Latinos (evidently it now surpasses both mom and apple pie). With my muchachos y muchachas in mind, I won’t say exactly what I think of these individuals, but rest assured, when they’re hitting up the geritol we’ll still be alive and voting, thank you very much.

Now we have Colorado, who I’d liken to the nice family next door who has a penchant for lavish ski vacations. Lucky for us we’re almost always invited along. Skiing in New Mexico is alright, but it’s worth the drive to Copper, Vail or Snowbird to get the real deal. I only wish that the Coloradans would stop diverting so much water from the Rio Grande (you see, the neighbor is a heavy drinker), which is decidedly not grande, if you know what I mean. Gazing at that sickly little stream which runs through the Land of Enchantment, I wonder, what did it once look like which earned it the name Rio Grande? Perhaps one day we might again know, but Colorado needs to lay off the water for us to find out.

And now we have Texas. Texas is like the neighbor who’s always sitting on his porch, cleaning his gun, minding everyone else’s business. By virtue of having the biggest house on the block, he’s cocky, obnoxious and self-righteous. If there’s a neighbor we’d want our neighborhood association to kick out, it’d be Texas. But thankfully, no matter how much he’s always talking about his gun, he’s not really good at using it. Perhaps he needs more gun control…

Exhibit #1 is the Battle of the Alamo, where the bravest Texans (and their heroic allies) needlessly wasted their lives to accomplish absolutely nothing. I’m sure that Santa Anna was laughing his head off when he found out just who his troops killed there. Heck, the swollen rivers slowed Santa Anna down more than the fools at the Alamo.

Exhibit #2: In addition to being a state full of traitors, they had the cajones to attempt to invade New Mexico. After marching through Los Cruces and bypassing Fort Craig (leaving an American army blocking the traitors’ supply lines), confederate forces took the (almost abandoned) Duke City and pushed up the Santa Fe Trail towards Fort Union. Confronted by American forces under the command of Col. Slough (1st Colorado Volunteers) the confederates fought a pitched battle in Glorietta Pass. Meanwhile, Maj. Chivington (1st Colorado) and New Mexico’s own Lt. Chaves ambushed and captured the entire confederate supply train. Without supplies and cut off from Texas by Maj. Canby (Commander, Dept. of New Mexico) at Fort Craig, the Texans beat a hasty retreat back to their home stomping grounds. The Texans would never again threaten New Mexico.

Well, that’s the neighborhood here in the Southwest… a dirty old man, the nice family next door with a bit of a drinking problem and the gun nut who can’t shoot straight. It’s a wacky place to live, but where else can I get Sopaipillas like this, hombre? It’s home and nobody’s going to take the Land of Enchantment from me. Except maybe the aliens if they show up at Roswell again…

It comes down to reality
And it’s fine with me ’cause I’ve let it slide
Don’t care if it’s Chinatown or on Riverside
I don’t have any reasons
I’ve left them all behind
I’m in a New York state of mind.
– New York State of Mind, Billy Joel

Forget about Obama, whose state hasn’t produced a notable politician since Lincoln. New Yorkers are on the prowl now, and unlike the good-feeling-but-devoid-of-details policies advanced by the junior Senator from Illinois, the competence cavalry have rallied in New York and they’re loosing the dogs of war. This is an exciting time to be an American, and not just because Mr. Obama feels that the presidency is an entry-level political job.

It doesn’t happen all that often that a number of politicians from one state explode on the scene all at once. While the early notables of the US were all Virginians, the people that shaped the first half of the twentieth century were New Yorkers of the like of the Bull Moose and FDR. But since the days of the Roosevelts and Al Smith, few notable New Yorkers rose to the national stage (the notable exceptions are Nelson Rockefeller and Mario Cuomo). But in the last few years, not one, not two, not three, but four New Yorkers have dominated the national stage.

Unlike the ideologues that dominate political discourse and the prevaricators that dominate political practice, these up and coming stars all have an aura of taking no garbage. While potentially vindictive, New York politicians (since the days of Gouverneur Morris, at least) have always been known for the indefatigable (and sometimes, admittedly, obsessive) pursuit of what they believe to be right. Could any other state give us the likes of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony? I think not. In quintessentially American fashion, though, New Yorkers are also known for a certain compromising pragmatism that’s sorely lacking in today’s political discourse (at least when issues don’t fall into the “indefatigable obsession” category delineated above).

Rudy Giuliani, a leading Republican candidate for the Presidency, is the first New Yorker on everyone’s mind these days. Contrasted with clueless incompetence of President George W. “My Pet Goat” Bush, Mayor Giuliani’s take charge attitude on 9/11 earned him the title of “America’s Mayor.” A micro-managing a-hole (ask any of the schools chancellors he’s canned) with a penchant for marital infidelity and police thuggery Rudy may not be an ideal human being, but rest assured, if he ever met Osama, he’d punch him clear in the face. Repeatedly. And then break out the tire iron.

Hillary Clinton is the next New Yorker on the front page of the national news. But she’s not from New York, you might say? How could New Yorkers vote for her? Trust me, if you had seen her opponent, the spineless boot-licker Rich Lazio, you’d be punching your ticket for Hillary as well. But the New Yorkers I know have grown to love her. Her opponents caricature her as a ruthless bitch, which sounds just fine to the New York ear. An heir to Clintonian pragmatism, but with a will of steel, and an inner circle of merciless operatives, she’s become a New Yorker through and through.

Elliot Spitzer, New York’s newest governor, better known as The Scourge of Wall Street, made his name bringing the Captains of Finance to their knees as Attorney General of the State of New York. With Bush’s SEC was too busy sleeping on the job, Mr. Spitzer, attacked Wall Street with the ferocity of a starved rottweiler confronted with a T-bone stake. Lawsuit after lawsuit told Big Finance that the little guy had a new champion and that they’d better watch their conduct or else face the consequences. After cowing Wall Street, Mr. Spitzer is on to a tougher job: eviscerating Albany’s culture of corruption and incompetence. And to be honest, he’s doing a pretty good job.

Mike Bloomberg, New York City’s current mayor rounds out the list of influential New Yorkers. He’s deciding whether or not to run for President… as an independent. And yes, he can afford that. He’s really stinking rich. But what makes a technocratic Jew, with fluctuating political loyalties (he’s been in both parties and is currently in neither) think he can be president? First, he’s an incredibly competent mayor who lacks Giuliani’s baggage. Second, because he’s willing to take the lead on the one political issue national politicians refuse to touch: gun control. As someone who’s completely unafraid of the enemies of freedom known as the National Rifle Association, he’s launched a crusade against illegal gun sales, using private investigators to crack down on these criminal gun dealers and drag their sorry behinds into court. Since the NRA has tied down the hands of the ATF and FBI with their dark legislative sorcery, Mr. Bloomberg has become America’s most effective defender against gun violence. He is utterly without fear — and this is why New Yorkers wonder in hushed tones whether or not he will run for president. He doesn’t look like a Bull Moose, but if there is a man who can win an independent bid for the presidency, it’s Mike Bloomberg. And though they might not say it, New Yorkers would love to see him try. In a three-way Mike/Rudy/Hillary race, I’m betting he’s the one who will carry New York State. And that would be exciting.

The Angry New Mexican has had long-standing ties to the Empire State, knows plenty of New Yorkers and is downright excited by this new batch of New York politicians. (God knows New Mexico could use a few that are anywhere near as good.) Perhaps it’s only fitting that since New Yorkers lead the country from good to great in the early 20th century, they’ll be taking the country from great to awesome at the beginning of the 21st.