United States Marine Corps is 232 years old today.


On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date, many thousand men have borne the name Marine. In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the Birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world’s history. During 90 of the 146 years of it’s existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the nations foes. From the battle of Trenton to the Argonne. Marines have won foremost honors in war, and in the long eras of tranquility at home. Generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term Marine has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who preceded us in the Corps. With it we also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as “Soldiers of the Sea” since the founding of the Corps.

From the 12 Angry Men Blog to all the Marines out there, ‘Happy Birthday’ and Semper Fidelis!

The staff of the 12 Angry Men would like to offer their congratulations to Angry Immigrant, and his new bride, who were married today. Our best wishes to them (and especially to the new Mrs. Angry Immigrant… he’s a handful!) on this their happiest day, and for the countless happier days to come, sharing and growing in their love for one another.

Congratulations! May you both always find happiness with each other, and help each other to grow in faith and love.
– Angry Midwesterner

Congratulations – I’m sorry that my fiancee and I couldn’t be there today, but we wish you both all the best!
– Angry Virginian

May you crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their, er, ah, wrong post. What I meant to say was: All the best!
– Angry New Mexican

As you walk your journey together may you truly be Christ to one another: offering the blessing of love freely given and the challenge to love without limit!
– Angry Overeducated Catholic

Hehe, I think I know where ANM is going with that comment *sly setup, very sly*. Congratulations mate, wishing you all the best. may your journey thru life together be a happy one.
-Angry Fascist Libertarian

I think everyone signing before me managed to come up with all the comments, so I’ll keep it simple: Congrats.

To Love is to choose, and as Milton Friedman said, we are free to choose. Congratulations!
Angry Libertarian

Congratulations on your merger! May your capital grow, your dividends flourish, and your relationship be profitable. Any may you avoid excessive capital gains tax.
– Angry Political Optimist

Regular readers will be familiar with our “Troll of the Week” category which we often award to worthy individuals. This week, its time for something completely different. We’ve found an individual which we wish to name Hero of the Week. This is not a title we will give out often, and will only be awarded to truly worthy individuals, who had the courage to stand up and fight one form of injustice or another, and who have championed the greater good.

Our current Hero of the Week is a would be Jedi Knight from North Carolina named Christopher Knight. The young Jedi made an ad for his campaign for the Rockingham County, North Carolina board of education. In his entertaining campaign video, which aired on local television stations, Christopher unveils his secondary career as a Jedi, and his commitment to protecting the local youth from evil while he quests for elected office. The ad is quite well done, creative, and an excellent bit of amateur movie making. His video was so popular, that Knight decided to post his video on YouTube to share with the internet community as a whole.

Viacom owned TV channel VH1 grabbed Knight’s video without permission and aired it during their series “Web Junk 2.0”, technically violating copyright law as they did not even ask for Knight’s permission to air his copyright work. Knight however, as a true student of the Light Side of the Force, didn’t mind. He accepted their action with good humor and enthusiasm saying:

I’m delighted that as a proud son of Rockingham County, I got worldwide exposure for this… How often does a local school board ad wind up on VH1?”

His response showed wisdom, patience, mercy, and benevolence, all traits true Jedi should possess. In fact, he so enjoyed their review of his video that he placed a copy of it with their commentary on YouTube so others could enjoy his work in this fashion. Viacom responded quickly by sending Imperial Stormtroopers with cease and desist letters to YouTube and our Jedi Hero, telling them that they were in violation of copyright law and if they did not comply immediately, they would “face the full firepower of this fully operational company”. Chris replied:

Viacom says that I can’t use their clip showing my commercial, claiming copy infringement? As we say in the South, that’s ass-backwards.”

Ever the brave hero, Christopher Knight risked life and lawsuit by filing a counter complaint against Viacom, noting that they had violated his copyright first. In an amazing win for the forces of good, Viacom surrendered to the Jedi Rebellion and YouTube restored his clip. His actions have not only saved his video, but all of the galaxy… I mean internet. Thanks to his bravery users everywhere know that they too can file counter DMCA claims should their rights be threatened.

For his heroism, valor, and courage, Christopher Knight is awarded Hero of the Week and will receive an honorary beer at the Man Lunch. Even though we know a Jedi craves not these things, we hope the Jedi Knight will accept our praise and know that today he is a hero to all of the Rebel Alliance. Mr. Knight, may the force be you, always.

Edit: Our Hero’s blog. Also, welcome to Fark.com, feel free to look around.

Well, you know how it is: you start out having a bit too much for the Fourth, and then well, it’s just a couple days to the weekend so it just seems reasonable to keep the bender going. Then, before you know it, it’s Sunday evening and you realize that even if you stopped then you’d be drunk through Monday and hungover Tuesday…

There just doesn’t seem any good reason to stop.

Until the booze runs out.

And you just can’t get the car started to get more.

So, you know, that’s kinda how it was.

But we’re back now and we’re angrier than ever, especially at whoever drove the car over the mailbox. Or at least we will be, when we can figure out which one of us it was.

Look for new stuff once the pounding headaches subside…

In case you’re wondering whether we’re dead, gone, or just lazy, it’s mostly that last one. Anyway, right now our story is that we’ve got this wicked bender going and, trust us, you really don’t want us posting drunk. (Think about it: many of you don’t want us posting sober…)

Anyway, not to worry, the booze is running low. In fact, somebody’s sober enough to post this, and that’s not a good sign.

If you want to check back in a day or two, or maybe after the weekend, I think we’ll probably be posting again. If nothing else it should take our minds off the hangover.

I am sad to report that technical difficulties are persisting today. When the memo came down from on high to “sack those who are responsible” we proceeded to sack our copy editor, team of lawyers, public relations agents, unit of crack commandos, and the nun who inexplicably works for us.

It wasn’t for another thirty minutes (filled with toasts to our success) that we double checked the note and realized that they didn’t want us to “Sack those who act in a responsible manner”, but more likely to “sack those responsible for the technical difficulties”. Naturally we feel a little silly about this, but assert that we cannot truly be blamed for our actions. When you work in an environment where responsible people get sacked, can you blame us for erring on the side of irresponsibility?

So naturally the ones responsible for the irresponsible sacking of those who were not in fact responsible, but simply acting responsibly, have been sacked in a responsible manner by irresponsible individuals (who are naturally the only ones left given that the responsible ones were sacked in a prior sacking). The remaining lot of us have agreed the technical difficulties are best remedied through the use of applied beatings which we vow will continue until we get bored with whacking each other over the head with sticks, which we conceed is unlikely to occur anytime soon.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Angry Man Blog.

Well, neither sackings not beatings were sufficient, but upping the settings on the shock collars seems to have done some good. New rant is up!

Loyal readers will notice that yesterday we chose to highlight the excellent current rant on the Chief Illiniwek debate just a bit longer than usual. Well, really, a whole day longer than usual at this point.

Oh, all right, we just didn’t get a rant put up due to “technical” reasons. And by technical, I mean personnel.

Naturally, those responsible have been sacked. However, while, as astue readers have pointed out, our rants can be produced by trained monkeys in a pinch, you can’t train monkeys in a day. Well, actually, you can, but not well, and they tend to be hard on the laptops…

So, sometime today, a new rant will go up. When you see it, you can think, “Ah, at last, my day is now complete.” Or, more likely, you can think, “Well at least those lazy, no good, so-and-sos finally got this done…” Either way, as you do, please take a moment to remember those monkeys and thank them for their sacrifice. And thank Wal*Mart for the $1.99 electroshock collars that made it all possible.

Thank you. I must now go and “repair” the laptop. And by repair, I mean, well, you don’t want to know, let’s just say that bathroom training should really proceed any other training when working with monkeys, and will—in the future…

As astue readers have noticed, in addition to the usual weekend fare, we have a series of special posts today. Patience is apparently not our virtue, for a number of the authors have been badgering me to publish special “timely rants” immediately. Rather than trying to reason with my beloved co-authors, I’ve simply given in and allowed them to post their “special rants” throughout today. Let’s hope that they haven’t used up all their good ideas for the week to come!

For you, dear readers, it’s an unexpected bonus (at least if you like our rants). Our fondest hope that you appreciate today’s special addition—and that you’ll understand if tomorrow we’re back to a less hectic pace. Only time will tell whether this rush to publish is wise or foolish. Less is sometimes more, but perhaps more is sometimes more too! Scroll down, or check the latest post list on the right to enjoy—and check back frequently today!