[Editor’s Note: Greetings muchachos y muchachas! Your hombre-in-chief Angry New Mexican is back with a guest rant from our friend and reader Angry Overqualified Cable Representative. You see he works for The Cable Company. And stupid people call him. I mean really, really stupid people. How stupid? Read on – ANM]

Oh, I could go on and on…

Like the guy that got upset because the tech wouldn’t install his service because we asked him to put his dogs up and he refused. He said he didn’t have to, because it was his constitutional right to have dogs.

Or the guy that got upset at us because we were investigating him for stealing cable (he was; same guy, FYI). When I asked him if he was, he denied it. I replied, “Then you have nothing to worry about, sir.”

Or the student that was upset because we kept charging her for service over the holidays, even though she was out of town.

Or the man with the past due balance (Mr. Delinquent, we’ll say) that was setting up service in his mentally challenged daughter’s name, a different last name (Ms. Challenged); . He gave me a fake last name when calling, then when I asked to verify the account with her, I asked her if she’d like to add him to the acct as a registered user. “And what is his name?” “Joe Delinquent…I mean Joe Challenged.” As I asked him if he was aware of his past due balance, he hung up.

Or the woman that called wanting service, but wouldn’t pay her three past due bills. An hour later, another woman calls in to set up service at the same location, and gets the same rep. The delinquent woman is audible in the background…

Or the woman that called wanting Dave Coulier’s phone number, “You know, Uncle Joey from Full House on ABC Family.” Mind you, Full House had been out of production for the better part of a decade.

Or the woman who wanted to add HBO to her father’s acct. He had been deceased for several years, and the mother had been living in another part of the state. When informed she should get service in her name, she replied she couldn’t, because she had too many past due bills.

Or the drunk driver that hit me on the way home from work, then fled the scene on foot because he “couldn’t go to jail again.” Then he called into the office about his past due balance the next day, and got me on the phone.

…I’m going to stop now…