The 12 Angry Men Blog

When I wrote my last post, I challenged the other Angry Men to write a version of the creed for liberals. AOC responded with this work of excellence. Enjoy – ANM

Do you accept Obama? I do.

And all his progressive works? I do.

And his promise of true hope and change? I do.

Do you believe in Liberalism, the One True Philosophy on this godless earth? I do.

Do you believe in Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the New Dealer, who was born of Theodore Roosevelt, was crucified by reactionaries, defeated Nazism, grew the Federal Government, and is now enthroned in the Progressive pantheon? I do.

Do you believe in JFK, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, the holy Great Society, the utter destruction of right-wingers, the non-existance of personal sins, the regulation of industry, and life under government management? I do.*

* See, it’s even positively Progressive! Hey, I even know Progressives who would agree to this without reservation! (No, seriously.)

As a service to fellow Angry Man and sworn Obama-hater Angry Midwesterner, I have written this litany for him to renew his faith in conservatism and his hatred of Obama each morning. In case you’re a hater too, feel free to use it – ANM

Do you reject Obama? I do.

And all his socialist works? I do.

And all his empty hope and change? I do.

Do you believe in Conservatism, the One True Philosophy on heaven and earth? I do.

Do you believe in Ronald Regan, the Great Communicator, who was born of Barry Goldwater, was crucified by liberals, defeated Communism, shrunk the Federal Government, and is now enthroned in the Conservative pantheon? I do.

Do you believe in Sarah Palin*, the holy Religious Right, the hatred of liberals, the punishment of sins, the reduction of taxes, and life without union labor? I do.

* The invocation of Sarah Palin can be replaced with Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck or Ron Paul as appropriate.

Guess who it is again? That’s right it’s Angry New Mexican, your hombre in chief. Evidently Angry Overeducated Catholic has turned his pen against Her Majesty and the people of the United Kingdom. Stuff like this always reminds me of God Save the Queen by the Sex Pistols. Anyway. Enjoy the song and rant.

Angry Overeducated Catholic

Hey, Brits, no need for the Queen’s Police State to add another level of cameras and soul-crushing pointless legislation to stop this. I know your natural tendency is to solve problems by removing more freedom and increasing state tyranny beyond anything Orwell thought about in 1984, but just take a second here.

Possible cause/Possible Solution:

P: Parents too poor to buy proper outerwear.
S: How about having some jackets/coats available at the nursery? If other parents express jealousy, point out that being jealous of folks too poor to buy coats for their kids is a little hard hearted even for the English.

P: Parents too stupid/careless (“busy”) to dress kids properly.
S: Keep child inside during playtime, force child to perform horrid tasks like developing mind or doing homework. Send note home to parents explaining in very simple terms that dressing kids properly is kinda their job.

P: Parents dressing kids in ridiculous overpriced clothing which the kids are terrified of ruining.
S: Mix of the previous two, combined with perhaps a recommendation that owning overpriced items the owner is terrified of using for their express purpose should properly remain restricted to idiot adults, such as the parents in question.

But really, laws? Regulations? Is that the answer, Britain? These parents, stupid as they are aren’t criminals… …Ah, wait, that’s the problem, if they were criminals you’d let them crap all over everyone, just as you allow muggings and robberies to go on in front of police officers without intervention. Never mind. Clearly these stupid law abiding parents require fines and jail time to remember that they’re supposed to be anti-social scum dedicated to the destruction of English society.

Carry on.

There are few groups more hateful to America and all she stands for than the NRA (and I don’t mean the National Restaurant Association). Like a Freudian nightmare, their slavish devotion to thanatos marks the decline or western civilization as clearly as that of the perversion of eros wrought on the world through Hugh Hefner and his smut empire. The difference being that lefties are more likely to defend Hef, while right wingers are more likely to claim that the only thing more American than mom and apple pie, is shooting full auto. If you really want to do that go to f#$%ing Somalia. Hell, even Mexico is a haven for raging gun battles these days. We don’t have these things in Real America, but in the NRA’s lock-and-load paradise, that’s the way things will roll.

Anyway, you find funny things when you google for phrases like “The NRA is evil.” Funny things like this comedy bit by Lewis Black. Yeah, it’s over a year old, but it’s pretty funny, and as a bonus to my friends on the right, Black rips the crap out of PETA too (who also desperately deserves it). Enjoy hombres, and stay angry!

Hola muchachos! As usual, your hombre-in-chief finds himself surrounded by slackers who can’t be bothered to write a blog article but send prolific essays to our super-secret email list. And the worst offender in this class is clearly Angry Overeducated Catholic. When he isn’t hero-worshipping Dick Cheney, Angry Overeducated Catholic often spends his time as a shameless Republican apologist. Many Republicans are soulless shills for Big Business, and so is AOC most of the time. But when Big Business prolongs it’s existence due to the help of The Evil Government(TM), then AOC strikes out in anger, this time against the insurance industry (because they have been corrupted via The Evil Government)! Ignore AOC’s bizarre fantasy that Republicans actual care a lick about healthcare reform and read the list anyway. As he rightly notes, the insurance industry is a key part of the problem, and he can join Nancy Pelosi in wanting to shaft them whenever possible. Anyway muchachos, enjoy the fun -ANM

Angry Overeducated Catholic

Repealing the tax benefits would seem to be a no brainer, unless of course your actual goal was to increase dependency on insurance (public or private) and basically fully socialize a large percentage of the US economy.

Hmm…

Seriously, if the Dems wanted real reform, it’s not that hard (and much of this has been proposed by the Republicans from day one):

• tort reform limiting the ridiculous liability that forces doctors to pay $200K plus in annual premiums to insurance companies
• providing tax-free medical savings accounts which give people an option for tax free health spending that doesn’t involve insurance companies
• incentivizing catastrophic care insurance which provides a cushion for unexpected crises without sending giant premiums to insurance companies
• limit or repeal the tax advantages which incentivize comprehensive health insurance and enrich insurance companies
• repeal or flatten the patchwork of state regulations which distort local insurance markets and benefit insurance companies by eliminating competition
• generally reduce the state’s role in the health industry, as massive regulation and government involvement always benefit larger corporate players, such as major insurance companies

I can’t help but note that every one of these proposals, viciously opposed by Democrats, would seem to also be opposed by the aforementioned evil insurance companies.

Kinda makes you wonder who their real friends are, doesn’t it?

(Of course the GOP ain’t lily white, but big business and especially small businesses aren’t happy with the insurers on this issue and that means their GOP allies have divided loyalties, at best, from the insurance company perspective. And in reality, the Dems aren’t shills for the insurers either, so much as shills for trial lawyers (1st), unions (2nd, 3rd, 4th), and government (5th, 6th).)

Hola amigos! Angry New Mexican here! As usual, my angry hombres are remiss in writing. So without further ado, here is Angry Immigrant, waxing rhapsodical about his adopted homeland of California.

Angry Immigrant

With California within a stone’s throw of officially failing, the upcoming governor’s race should be more amusing than most. (Ok, it doesn’t look like Gary Coleman is jumping in this time).

The Dems are throwing an all-wacky team with the mayor of S.F. and Jerry Brown — who is probably Daley’s current rival for best local-politics weasel. The “gay marriage by executive order” mayor is just all kinds of crazy. Popular in SF itself, but otherwise viewed as unserious. Brown is hard to categorize. He’s bounce around through nearly every level of state government (including governor), but he has all of the baggage that comes with a lifetime of shady deals at all levels of government. Neither will be of great help digging the state out of the hole it’s in, but the election will likely be decided on whether the voters feel the crisis or not late in 2010.

The republicans are sending a team that might actually have some competence to it. Maybe. If they don’t stab each other in the back and destroy the state party like some other states I could mention.

Well, for Senate they seem to be trying their hardest.

The two intriguing candidates to me are the businesswomen. Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina have both had stints running major companies, and the GOP here seem to be trying to 1) bring a business-heavy slate and 2) break their old white man image. Fiorina seems to be off to a bumbling start. But, given that the only other time I’ve heard of here was when she was run out of HP for corruption or incompetence, that may actually be representative for her.

It’s possible that they’re letting Fiorina stumble forward to tie up Boxer’s attention, and then they’ll slot Schwarzenegger in as a Senate candidate just before the primary. But I think he’s ready to be done with politics, and get back to just being a normal rich guy again.

It seems like if the GOP can run on a platform of business competence and fiscal conservatism (and de-emphasize nearly everything else for this cycle), they should make massive gains. But California is in the hole it’s in for a reason — the GOP keeps picking idiot organizers and candidates, and the voters keep picking idiot Dems.

Evidently Mao is the new thing in avant garde Chinese art. Underground exhibitions, keeping heads and bodies of statuary separated, this is some pretty wacky stuff.

My favorite piece (and a favorite of several other Angry Men) is The Execution of Christ by the Gao brothers:

Nothing like a firing squad of Maos executing Jesus

I thought was a interesting commentary on religious freedom in China, with a touch of Picasso’s Guernica, juxtaposed against the patent absurdity of multiple Maos. In a sense, it was in the line of Andy Warhol’s portrait of Mao with rouge and lipstick.

Several other Angry Men also waxed philosophically, witness this dialogue between Angry Overeducated Catholic and Angry Immigrant…

Angry Overeducated Catholic: I like the Mao off by himself: is he doubting the party line, is he afraid to take a life, is he worried Christ is Who He says He is? Or is he just too incompetent to load a rifle, stand in a line, and shoot an unarmed man?

Angry Immigrant: He’s a demagogue, posing with a rifle trying to look tough, but unable to actually look at the consequences of his policies…

Angry Overeducated Catholic: Ah, but I believe the other members of the squad are also Mao…so perhaps Mao has only a small part of his conscience left, which recoils from the consequences of his policies even while powerless to prevent his larger self from carrying them out?

Good stuff, huh? A little philosophical for my blood, but interesting nonetheless.

Angry Military Man, famed wit that he is, one the day. Had little else to say other than Mao More Than Ever. But once saying that, need one say any more?

Women pay more for health insurance than men, have more extensive health needs than men, and suffer unique forms of discrimination in their coverage.

Unbelievable. Women have more health needs…. and that drives up their health insurance? Call me crazy, but discrimination might not be the reason.