Dick Cheney Proclaims Himself President

Dick Cheney Proclaims Himself President

CHENEYVILLE (AFP) – Following rumors that President Barack Obama has fled to London, Dick Cheney, whose clone army recently seized the White House, has proclaimed himself The One True President of the United States, issued warrants for the arrest of Mr. Obama and renamed Washington, DC to Cheneyville. His clone army has also appeared in New York and has executed chiefs of several notable TARP-recipient investment banks to the cheers of the crowds forming in the streets. “Cheney is back, bitches! To America’s enemies, I have only one message: Go f#$% yourselves,” said the real (?) Mr. Cheney from his fortress in the Oval Office.

Public opinion on the Cheney coup is mixed. Joe Simmons, 27 of Arlington, VA was quoted as saying, “I was getting tired of Obama and Geithner dancing around this AIG bonus thing. Only Dick Cheney has the cajones to shoot those jerks in the face… which his clone army just did.” New York Times columnist Tom Friedman was about to express his disapproval of the Cheney coup in a phone interview with your correspondent, when he too was shot in the face by the clone army.

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