[Editor’s Note: It’s your hombre-in-chief Angry New Mexican here. I feel sometimes that I spend more time editing other people’s email missives than writing my own rants these days, but the life of an Angry Man is filled with peril. Normally, the it’s Angry Midwesterner’s job to rant about how gay marriage will bring about the destruction of western society. Evidently Angry Immigrant’s been studying up on this belief on the sly, especially now that it involves his personal sworn enemies: Canadians. Without further ado, I give you Angry Immigrant. -ANM]

It might not be a torrent, but the first trickles are coming. The first symptom of the far right-wing nightmare of state-sanctioned unrestrained relationships landed recently, with hints of the next one already forming.

Step 1) Polygamy
Canadian polygamists cite gay marriage law as legalizing their freedom to choose who to “marry” as well. They don’t seem to be doing a very good job of it. They won’t get support until they stop being thought of as ‘fundies’ and start getting some support from the polyamory community. The problem being that the polyamory community doesn’t really care about formal relationship events like getting married. They’re solely focused on getting laid.

Step 2) Child-marriages
From a number of different places (my guess is from sleazy teachers and their unions), we may start to see a discourse on the difference between pedophilia and ebophilia. (One means a sleazy bastard who gets kicks from handling kids and the other means anyone attracted to post-pubescent teens — usually still sleazy [unless 1/2 + 7, etc] .) Legal cover for this might come as a result of poorly-handled prosecutions of 15-17 year olds being 15-17 year olds with each other (naked picture of girlfriend on cell phone == kiddie porn?), or from interfering hippies who want to emancipate children from the constraints of responsible oversight.

I’ve begun to see this vocabulary clarification start in various places, but actually relaxing the law requires a politician who’s willing to be called a pedo, and who wants to survive a “think of the children” campaign against him. This will be slow, slow work to tear down. Not because they have a remaining philosophical defense of why it shouldn’t be an allowable marriage, but because they won’t be able to find enough politicians to agree with them for a few decades.

While this won’t help the bastards in NAMBLA score with 8 year olds, it might push the threshold down to 13-14 again. Keep in mind that at this age if you fight in a war, murder civilians, be classified as a “child soldier”, be captured, and the person who jailed you would be the war criminal… But some idiots can’t tell the difference between children and adults when their libido lights up.

Step 3) Pet marriages
I haven’t seem anyone take a serious stab at this (just the loonies who also want to marry their plants, their shovel, etc). It’s just the scary item at the end of this list that you hold up, point to, and say “This is what San Francisco wants” in order to get the whole Midwest to vote against something. A useful wedge, and eventually more accepted than it is now, but still a one-way ticket to the sanitarium.

Angry Immigrant’s Predictions
Step 1 could be sped up depending on how gay marriages are legally handled (along with benefits transfers, power of attorney, hospital visitations, etc). The polyamory folks could help with demanding free ability to choose whomever they want to be ‘in charge’ of their needs independently of their “marriages”.
Step 2 may be aided by the continual sophistication of children and the growing acceptance of perversion, but that will be political suicide for a long time to come.
Step 3 will happen once dogs and cats get to vote…

[Author’s Note:] Sarcasm doesn’t travel the Internet clearly. As such, take the preceding with a large grain of salt. -AI ]