I’m not really angry about this, only mildly piqued. I saw The Dark Knight twice, once as a matinee about week after it came out and the second time recently with MPA’s honey, who decided that she wanted to see it over our dinner of barbecue and piña coladas after a fine day in the park listening to a Brazilian drum choir. Just so you understand why I’m not actually angry per se.
Both times the experience was marred by screaming children. Time number one involved a youngish (twentysomething) mom with Junior of age 4 and Even More Junior of age 1 or so. First of all—call me old fashioned—but Junior shouldn’t be seeing The Dark Knight until he’s quite a bit older. The Joker’s disappearing pencil trick is really not appropriate for children, and it goes down from there fast. Even More Junior won’t actually understand anything, but crazy sounds, flashing lights, big booms, and so forth aren’t exactly comforting stimuli. To a one year old mind they are going to be overwhelming. Twentysomething Mom went in and out of the theater several times with screaming Even More Junior. It didn’t ruin the movie for me but it didn’t exactly help it either. On the second time, MPA and MPA’s honey go to see The Dark Knight. Again—surprise!—there are at least two small children in the theater. And again small children start to cry when the scary music starts playing (including the way-cool Shepard-Risset scale in the Joker theme), the big booms go off, and scary Mr. Joker is up to his tricks.
I am not personally opposed to “audience participation” in the movie-going experience, if it fits the mood. If you’ve ever seen a horror movie with a substantial number of black folks in the crowd, you know what I mean: A scary silence on the screen punctuated with “Girl, don’t you even go into that room!” or “Aw, you gonna get it now boy!”makes an otherwise stupid horror movie something special. Similarly, I once saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail with an extremely drunk college audience at the late, lamented Co-Ed Theater which used to be right on Green between Sixth and Wright Street. Drunken recitation of many a line by the entire audience followed. “That rabbit’s dynamite!” And who in their right mind would watch Rocky Horror except in a theater with live players?
Screaming child, however, isn’t audience participation. Millennia of evolution have made the sound of a screaming child pretty much as demanding to the human ear as it gets. Why are some parents such jackasses that they just have to see movies in the cineplex and either can’t get a sitter or, I don’t know, wait until the DVD comes out? It’s not good parenting. Not only does it subject Junior to a scary stimulus which has a non-trivial chance of leading to nightmares but also it teaches Junior that it doesn’t really matter if you ruin other people’s enjoyment. Besides it’s pointless: Chances are good you the parent won’t be seeing much of the movie anyway, not when you have to take screaming Junior to the lobby to calm down every fifteen minutes.
You have a small child. This is going to mean that there are a lot of things you won’t be able to do until Junior gets older. That’s just how it is.
Aside 1: What a tragedy that Heath Ledger died in such a pointless way and won’t be giving any more performances like The Joker. Jack who? I’m not really a superhero move fan, but Chris Nolan’s take on Batman is the one to watch.
Aside 2: As I was reminded of when watching the trailer for the upcoming Body of Lies, it has become evident over the last few years that Leonardo di Caprio—object of loathing for many an Angry Man—has turned into a good actor and not just a pretty boy. He no longer looks like a twelve year old. He’s had some fine roles, e.g., Amsterdam Vallon in Gangs of New York, Howard Hughes in The Aviator or Danny Archer in Blood Diamonds, and turned in solid performances each time.
The 12 Angry Men Blog 
August 26, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Can’t really disagree with you here, but I take it you don’t have children of your own, right? Let me tell you about the mindset of young parents: They have to cater to the needs of someone else pretty much 24/7 and it wears on them like you wouldn’t believe. It can’t be told, it can’t be taught, you have to experience it. You are scraping to get by on a few hours of sleep every night. It drives you to your limits. You are DESPERATE to go out, just once in a while, to see something else than breast milk bottles and full diapers. You know, experience some ADULT stuff, be it just for a few hours. Yes, perhaps The Dark Night shouldn’t be the first choice but then it’s a must-see and the experience is not the same on a small screen. And yes, a baby sitter or the other parent staying at home with the baby would be smarter but then again, maybe it’s a single mom with no family in town and not enough money to shell out $35 (3h baby sitting plus ticket where I live) for one movie visit. Besides, some little babies don’t mind loud noises and flashing lights and can actually sleep well in such environments unless they are hungry.
So you didn’t enjoy the movie quite as much with a baby in the audience? Boo-whoo! Just try to be aware of the hardships other people face raising the taxpayers of tomorrow – little human beings just like yourself – and try to cut them some slack, will you?
4-year-olds in such movies? – a different matter entirely. They understand too much already for this to be harmless. This is just stupid. No excuses.
August 26, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I don’t have kids but I do understand the desperate for adult stimuli thing as I was in my late teens when my youngest sibs were born and I recall my mom going nuts. It’s not the same as personal experience of being a primary caregiver, of course.
I definitely think taking 4 year olds to Dark Knight is a really stupid idea but we don’t disagree about that.
So you didn’t enjoy the movie quite as much with a baby in the audience? Boo-whoo! Just try to be aware of the hardships other people face raising the taxpayers of tomorrow – little human beings just like yourself – and try to cut them some slack, will you?
I do in most contexts, but there are environments where I just don’t think kids are appropriate and R (or most PG-13) movies is one of them. If I hear some noise for a bit whatever… blow it off, but a lot of people paid their money to go to the theater not to hear “Waaaaaah!!!!” for multiple minute long stretches in response to every loud stimulus, which is what happened the first time I was there. So basically you’re saying it’s OK to pick a lot of people’s pockets because of parenting small children?
Many parents are really irresponsible and permissive with their kids in public places. Case in point: Parents who let their kids run around in restaurants. You could argue “cut slack” here too. But no, in addition to pissing off everyone else, you’re letting Junior run around in a place where fast moving, really busy servers are carrying around heavy plates of hot food.
My parents would have been on me like a ton of bricks over that. My ass would have been out to the car with no supper so fast my head would spin. (I’m not saying my parents were perfect; there were a few times I can recall from my childhood that make me cringe in retrospect. I should NOT have been there.)