Ron Paul, in a press conference today called for the complete encirclement of the Pentagon. “Clearly, the Pentagon, as a three dimensional representation of the pentagram, represents the most probable gateway to the demon realm from which Cthulu will return. Given the money that conservatives are willing to spend building walls against the surge of illegal immigrants, a better use would be to build permanent fortifications against the likely emergence of evil.”

Ron Paul went on to express grave concerns about the current Democratic hopefuls noting that recent blog posts on both Clinton’s and Obama’s behalf for the ‘Demonic Rectification of the Earth’ indicate that the Democratic party has been suborned by the forces of evil. “Anti-war positions espoused by both candidates clearly are an attempt to misdirect attention from the Pentagon where activities have increased in anticipation of their control of the White House.”

Asked about his proposals to bring the troops home immediately if elected, Congressman Paul stated “These troops could be better used to surround the Pentagon. As long as we maintain a closed circle, the inter-realm gateway cannot be opened.” Paul intends to use the troops to maintain a triple row of soldiers connected hand-to-hand to seal the gateway until a more permanent silver impregnated wall can be constructed.

The commodities market reacted swiftly bidding silver to an all-time high of $24.67 per troy ounce, up $8.00 over Monday’s close.

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