Today is Super Tuesday, where almost half of the delegates of both parties are up for grabs. But who will win? Can Hillary stop the Obama Man Train? Will Ann Coulter’s anti-endorsement actually hurt John McCain? Courtesy of our patented Angry Crystal Ball technology, the 12 Angry Men offer their predictions of who’s going to come out on top.

If we get off our angry behinds, we might actually update this during the day. Or not.

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Angry New Mexican
On the Republican side of the aisle, I expect to see some fairly solid support for McCain in most of the bluer states — New York, California and New Jersey, for instance. Romney picks up most of the redder states, discounting a Huckabee victory in Arkansas, plus perhaps a surprise in Missouri, Alabama or Tennessee. Overall, I see McCain picking up a (slim) majority of the 1,081 Republican delegates chosen on Super Tuesday. This will probably be enough to off Huckabee for good, but not enough to quash Romney. Ron Paul will get no delegates, which will of course, providing tin-foil hat whining from his partisans on slashdot.

On the Democratic side of things, expect to see Hillary take a majority in all of the big states save Illinois and Georgia. Obama does very well in the smaller, more liberal states like Connecticut. States with large Hispanic populations (New Mexico, Arizona) go heavily for Hillary. Overall, Hillary comes out on top by about 5% or so in the polls and a tighter margin among the 2,075 Democratic delegates. Obama will be able to keep up his campaign for a bit longer, perhaps even until the convention.

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Angry Overeducated Catholic
On the Republican side, I agree with ANM in general terms, but with some important caveats. California remains too close to call, with McCain and Romney trading the top spot constantly. I’m going to call it for McCain but I would not be surprised at all to see Romney take it (esp. with the immigration issue looming large). New York, of course, is a no brainer: on it’s most conservative day it’s slightly to the left of Castro—so McCain there for sure. Jersey, ditto, it’s New York with more mobsters and toxic waste dumps. And Illinois, which might still be glancing nervously towards Nauvoo. Romney, meanwhile, carries his own state of Taxacusettes, Utah (duh), Nevada (still duh), and some of the other western states. But he loses the South to McCain(!) and maybe Huckabee in one or two places. I just don’t see Romney able to overcome both Huckabee and his open Mormonism to take the more conservative voters in the South. Overall, I think there’s a real solid possibility that Super Tuesday to cement McCain as the clear choice, put the final nail in Huckabee’s coffin, and persuade Romney to bow out as well for the sake of party unity. Ron Paul, of course, will soldier on, no matter what, as will his followers, but who cares.

The Democratic side strikes me as even more interesting. Despite ANM’s clear Billary boosterism, Obama is a real contender in Califronia, as well as in Illinois and Georgia. None of those are winner-take-all states, though, and Hillary has a lot of support across New England and through the Mid-Atlantic states. Obama may take several states in the Midwest and Deep South, but it’s by no means certain. My gut tells me that there won’t be a clear leader after Super Tuesday, but Obama will be in trouble if he doesn’t come out with either a majority or a close minority of the votes. Given the number of superdelegates leaning towards Hillary in the Democrat’s corrupt nominating system, Obama has an uphill fight unless he can show clear momentum today. Still, unlike the GOP side, I see little chance for a decided race tomorrow, which will doubtless make Hillary even more shrill and uncompromising towards “uppity” Obama. Worse, the Clintons will be smelling blood and enraged by Barack’s lack of meek obedience: so look for the last remnants of restraint to fade after today, as the Clinton smear machine shows Barack what a dirty campaign really looks like.

Angry Political Optimist
Frankly, I am sick of the political coverage of this dragged out election season. It even makes the Brittany Spears/Natalie Holloway/Paris Hilton celebrity coverage look attractive. Gag! (I can’t believe I said that.) I suspect that there are a lot of people who feel like me and will express their displeasure at the voting booth by voting for Ron Paul or Mickey Mouse. Expect to see an uptick in low percentage candidates.

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