Our motto here at the 12 Angry Men Blog is “Through angry words, civil discourse”. While we pride ourselves on being nattering nabobs of negativity, we also realize that sometimes people disagree with our many varied, and admittedly arrogant, opinions. We respect this quite a lot. Freedom of speech is one of the things that makes this country the great place it is, and as patriots we believe in the right of anyone to tell us what they think, no matter how stupid and ignorant their opinion might be.

In celebration of Freedom of Speech and civil discourse it is our plan to bring you some of the best hate mail we receive each week. We promise to dredge the bottoms of our inboxes to bring you the most trollish, flaming, piles of ignorant opinion we have received each week. So please, send us hate mail. We want you to! We’ll even post it if we feel you’ve done a particularly good job. We feel every one of our readers deserves the chance to see us respond to your mail in the most public and humiliating way possible.

This Week’s Winner: Conservative Gladiator

The best part about this foaming-at-the-mount Mitt Romney fan is that (s)he can’t be bothered to change his ignorant (and literacy challenged) posts for different web sites. See his/her identical post here. A big thanks to Angry Albuquerquian for pointing this one out for me!

Wow…From the liberal press: “send out the “Conservatives” to shoot down their own.”

First, the grammarian in me notes that single (rather than double) quotes are to be used inside a quotation delineated by quotation marks.

Some serious hunters out there huh?

When I was a kid I went hunting with my Uncle who was avid. He helped me take my hunter’s safety course and I shot guns and hunted for maybe a year’s worth of my life.

Congratulations. You killed Bambi’s dad. I hope you enjoyed the tasty venison.

I still to this day consider myself Pro-Gun and Pro-Second Amendment. No where in the LIBERAL article that you got this info from, and you need to admit, that you would have never picked up on it otherwise because you are “Conservative”, does it say that Romney stated that he was against the Second Amendment in the past. While it may have been an error in stating “I’ve been a lifelong hunter”, be honest and quote the whole dialogue and you’ll see that there’s nothing there. Even the article is not that deep. It’s the headline that says more than the article.

Dear Chicago Manual of Style: Please note that Conservative Gladiator has officially modified the English language. From this point forward, the word conservative must be written as “Conservative” and the word liberal as LIBERAL. On behalf of “Conservative” Gladiator, the 12 Angry Men Blog thanks you for your cooperation.

Dear Gary Trudeau: As a long time reader of your comic Doonesbury, I have heard the comic referred to as many things, including liberal LIBERAL. However, a recent post by “Conservative” Gladiator has referred to it as an “article.” The three panel comic I cited in this post as a source for Mitt Romney’s newfound pro-gun stance was packed with information, and I thank you for reaching the level of detail (s)he considered to be article-quality. But, given his/her obvious trouble with the English language, I would not be surprised if My Pet Goat has reached the novella status in “Conservative” Gladiator’s book. Thanks again for the informative comic article.

Look rather than attacking the other people in the race so that you can prop your guy, why don’t you go to your guy’s campaign and ask why he isn’t doing more? Why is their message only attracting the “Wiley” intellectuals like yourselves?

As the State Coordinator of “Wiley” New Mexicans for Hillary, I resent your obvious sexism in assuming that my candidate is male! Oh wait, I’m not involved in the Clinton campaign at all! But you don’t know that, do you? As far as you know, I could be Hillary Clinton!

You make the assumption that I have bestowed my blogger’s blessing on one particular candidate. Well, if you’ve read my previous article, you realize that I don’t have a problem slamming any and all of the Republican candidates (don’t worry: the Democrats are coming next). To suggest that I’m just a shill for “my guy” is just absurd.

If you’re attacking is based on your hate for Mitt Romney religion then I suggest you go to the other side where they welcome bigots as long as they can do it without being called on it.

I’m attacking Mr. Romney for being a waffling flip-flop that would make Bill “it depends on what your definition of is is” Clinton proud. I imagine that if he were a more devout Mormon, he might have, you know, convictions.

You “Conservatives” need to grow up and leave the left wing propaganda and attacks to them. Heaven forbid that your guy comes to the front and they get shouted out for every little asinine thing they do and to top that off it’s your own that start’s to eat at him. I don’t see you guys licking your chops for Rudy and what did he just say about abortion again?

I ripped on Mr. Giuliani in the very same article, being very careful to note that Mr. Giuliani doesn’t give a rat’s bottom about social conservatism (generally understood to be a keyword for abortion and gay marriage). But I guess you just had trouble seeing that part. Perhaps an eye exam would be in order…

Editor’s note: Spelling and grammar mistakes in “Conservative” Gladiator’s post have been preserved to allow him/her to make my argument for me.