This is a special section of the 12 Angry Men Blog where we celebrate the best Troll to be found anywhere that week. While there are many varieties of troll, ranging from the fuzzy-haired dashboard decorations to the waylayer of the Billy Goats Gruff, we enjoy a well-executed jabbing that leaves an adversary stammering for a response. Any moron can produce a flame—mere sewage dumped upon the city square—but to produce a good Troll is a work worthy of the celebration of men.
The Troll of the Week segment will be written frequently enough to be termed “periodic”, but the actual label “of the week” is merely idealistic ambition, and it is not to be taken seriously.
Continuing a one-week old tradition, this week’s Troll once again contains a video and a non-video Troll. Again, it was simply impossible to decide between two such excellent trolls, and in the end we had to go with both. As a quick aside, remember that it isn’t the content so much as the execution. Today’s first troll, in particular, is a rambling, incoherent diatribe, but it’s so well written that we can forgive the utter lack of reason and sense. The second, while less polished in execution, is such an irresistible taunting of its target audience, that it must go down in history.
Context and Execution of Trolls:
Many so-called “pundits” and “experts” have lamented the supposed lack of civility and decorum in politics. So prevelant has this view become that even supposedly wise and knowledgable politicians have begun to embrace it. While even a child can see that American politics are, if anything, not nearly angry enough, apparently some people can’t resist the urge to find anger anywhere and everywhere.
Apparently drunk with power at his status as America’s most brash and outspoken pundit, George Will could not help to weigh in on this matter. Wisely abandoning any attempt to argue his utterly indefinsible point, he was content to issue this most excellent troll:
Let us leave aside, for a moment, the clearly ridiculous premise. (America is too angry? Good heavens man, clearly we aren’t angry enough. If anger really were “all the rage”, Howard Dean would be president! Hillary Clinton would be unbeatable! Ann Coulter would be invited to social events!) You have to give Will credit. Avoiding any pretence at reasoned discourse, he simply rants by assertion and advances a hodgepodge of so-called evidence willy-nilly. We have to admire the execution even as we lament the wrongheadedness of the premise.
The truest measure of a troll is whether its target can resist rising to the occasion. Who can resist responding to the crazy notion that anger is a bad thing? Clearly, not us. Touché, Mr. Will, you got us!
So, for his innovative use of unreason, George Will is awarded a co-Troll of the Week, and will receive an honorary beer at the Man Lunch. After we all punch him in the gut for his stupid position, naturally.
Where George Will is passion and energy, Karl Rove is renowned for his calm demeanor and his cold, cold heart. And, given the current climate, he would seem a man with little to celebrate. After all, his party lost control of Congress, his President is beset on all sides, the senior members of his own party are unable to avoid either stuffing stuff into their pockets or whipping things out. You wouldn’t think Rove would feel much like singing, much less rapping.
But, as the Grinch Who Stole Fitzmas, Karl apparently felt like celebrating. Getting in touch with his inner K-Fed, Rove made his debut appearance at a recent Correspondents Dinner:
Okay, sure, it could have been more polished. Alright, let’s be honest, it’s the best argument since Vanilla Ice why white men shouldn’t rap. But, you have to give him credit, MC Rove couldn’t have picked a better method of trolling his enemies.
Think about it, there you are, a crazy angry liberal incensed at everything the Administration has done and believing Rove to be the devil incarnate. You’ve finally nailed Scooter Libby, you’ve finally got a Congress that’s happy to indulge your fixation on impeaching Bush, you’ve routed Rove’s forces on every front, and what does the man do? He chats about dodging questions and killing small animals and then raps about killing small animals and being white! And he obviously enjoys it!
For his merciless assault on his dour foes, and good taste, MC Rove is awarded a co-Troll of the Week, and will receive an honorary beer at the Man Lunch. As long as he promises not to sing, or dance, or speak about stamp-collecting. Especially not stamp-collecting. Shudder.