I must say, Bush & Co. never cease to provide me with amusement. Whether it is Mr. Bush’s legendary lack of speaking ability, his laughably incompetent appointees, or just his general arrogance and lack of humility, Bush never fails to provide us with a good laugh. Years from now, historians will look back on his presidency and proclaim him one of the world’s greatest comedians. Let’s face it, the only ones not laughing are the pot smoking hippies.

Despite his long history of comedic excellence, Bush’s latest piece d’resistance is a true work of art. First off we have a president who tells us that the laws he is passing, the rights he is violating, and the freedoms he has been suspending, are only to hurt the bad guys. If you have nothing to hide, why would you be against these things which would only hurt the bad guys? Bush and Co. have pushed this line repeatedly, asking the opposition what they could possibly be hiding. While many took this line of dialog to simply be a condescending talking point, it was in fact the set up for one of the greatest jokes of his entire presidency.

You see, much like Al Gore, Bush loves hypocrisy. He loves it so much he practices it almost on a daily basis. His greatest work of hypocrisy to date, however, is his current position on the Gonzales scandal. He has openly offered to allow informal discussions with the individuals in question, but has categorically refused to allow those discussions to be under oath. This might cause one to ask, “But Mr. Bush, you only have to worry about being under oath if you are going to lie anyway, so it only hurts you if you’re a bad guy! Do these people, and you Mr. President, have something to hide?”, therein lies the greatest bit of humor Mr. Bush has given us, his coup de grace to the comedy world.

After spending the last six years telling us that people only want to hide something when they have in fact done something wrong that needs to be hidden, he now gracefully executes a 180 degree heel rotation wherein he declares that he and his party have nothing to hide, but won’t allow any formal inquiry which could unearth such secrets. Ah, Mr. Bush, you are indeed a man of subtle yet effective humor. But now that the joke is over and we’ve had our laugh it is time to own up and fire Gonzales. While you may indeed cover up this incident, the man is an avowed enemy of human rights, a proponent of torture and other un-Christian ideas, and a general all-around sleaze ball. Let us sweep him under the rug with the rest of your misfit gang from Texas before they manage to really cause some harm.

-Angry Midwesterner


Angry Midwesterner

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